One Horse Town

The phrase "one horse town" (according to the internet) was an expression first used in the 1850's when there were more horses than people in some American towns. If a town had only one horse, it must have been really small with very little happening. Monmouth -- my one horse town. Not very little happening but you will see why I label it as such if you read on...

Here is some background on what you need to know about me if you do not already. I have this fear of childbirth. No, I am not pregnant now -- this is a fear that is always there. It's not your normal, nervous, scared to be pregnant fear -- this is a very real "I don't believe this is natural or possible" fear. In general, I really get nervous about illness and being where you need to be when you need care. So, when Josh asked me to move to the country with him -- well, all I could picture was giving birth in a straw pile in the barn with Melissa Gilbert (Laura Ingells Wilder) assisting me -- with no drugs. Or, even in other instances, having something happen to one of us (heart attack, seizure, etc) and taking forever to get to the hospital. Irrational -- probably? Real feeling -- definitely! But, I tried to calm myself and said it would be okay -- even if I ever do have a baby and then I have to camp out at a hotel (no joke) near the hospital when I am nearing my eventual due date some day (hospital being at least 15 miles away). 

The other thing you should know is that I love crime shows -- CSI; Criminal Minds; Law and Order: SVU. I watch them religiously. I love them. I study them. I learn about them. I live vicariously through some of these investigators. I also realized that most killers (specifically on Criminal Minds) are out in the woods, or the country, if you will. And due to this, I sometimes have to stop myself from watching this show at night when Josh is gone -- and I am not usually freaked out. But it happens now.

So...as you read on...remember those two items and perhaps you can understand my mind set as I engage in this conversation with my fiance.

Josh was telling me a story about something that happened at work and within the story he says..."...., and so we figured we should call the sheriff..."  I let the story complete, before I ask, "what does that mean?" He seemed confused so I expanded to ask what the difference was between the sheriff and the police -- fearing the answer but praying it was just another country term and they meant the same thing.

It didn't. My fears were realized. The police, as we know them, do not service the country. The sheriff meets our needs if we need something out where we live -- but since he services the whole county, he might take awhile to get to us. WHAT?! I have flashes of labor, heart attacks, and escaped prisioners breaking into our house...

How does one call the sheriff? I am so perplexed. I say "Can't I just call 911 to get help???"
Josh confirms that I can - but that they will forward me to the sheriff. Who apparently may be busy or too far away to help me. The police...will forward me to the sheriff. My future father-in-law confirms this -- that the sheriff might be busy and that I might be better off calling a neighbor for help. Oh my gosh!

As Josh tells me this, I sit in stunned silence in the car. Now do I think we are going to need the "sheriff" often? No. Are my fears over the top? Well sure. But that still does not mean that this is not a concern...getting help, any kind of medical or police help, when you need help seems critical to me. I advised Josh that he left these details out, and it is amazing when you live a life, you sometimes forget what other people may not know. It never occurred to him to mention the police will not come and there is a mysterious sheriff who may come to my aid if he is not drinking coffee in Roseville at the bowling alley.

Needless to say, my phone contacts are now filled with neighbors. And when asked, "So, how do I reach this sheriff should I need to call?" Josh said, "Just call 911..." Well, that is if my phone service works...

Oh Monmouth -- my one horse town...